Fiction: Love and Death

by: F J: D

“Then I realized that love really doesn’t have a happy ending because love has no ending.”

I was both wondering and wandering in our school’s library looking for a book to borrow when someone shouted and called out my name. “Jen!” I turned around to see my best friend waiting for me outside the library carrying with him my books and my bag. “Shoot.”, I muttered. I forgot that it’s Wednesday, a usual day for us to hang out and relax in the park.

When I found the book that I was looking for I hurriedly took it from the bookshelf and went near the librarian for the borrowing of the book. I walked as fast as I could to not attract much attention. Unfortunately, someone already noticed. “Hey Jen! It looks like your boyfriend is waiting for you now.” Yna said. Yna is Nick’s ex – girlfriend and is the major drama queen. “Shut up! He is not my boyfriend!” I whispered. After getting the book, I quickly went out of the library, grabbed my things from him and walked straight. I didn’t even care to say a simple “hi” or even saying “thank you” for bringing my stuff. I just moved on. Not until we were out of the school grounds that I talked to him again. “Nick what were you thinking? Why do you always shout my name in the library? Are you trying to embarrass me? Why do you always annoy me every Wednesday afternoon?” I was so mad at him that I could feel my face turning red because of my anger. This wasn’t the first time he called my name out loud; to be exact, this is the 22nd time and still counting.

So we continued to walk, silence prevailed. “OUCH!” I turned to look who it was and unfortunately, Nick stumbled. I couldn’t help not laughing at him. He had a very funny position and when he looked up; his face was covered with mud. Still laughing, I was caught unaware when suddenly he pulled me down and right there and then, we were both covered with mud. This is just one of the many things I love about my best friend.

Nick has been my best friend ever since we were kids wearing diapers. We were in the same neighborhood and were in the same school since nursery even up to now. We know so much about each other that whenever one feels bad, the other feels the same. I always loved him more than just a best friend but I never told him about it. After all, I don’t want to lose a best friend. I was the first person he turned to when he had his first problem about girls and he, on the other hand, knew my very first crush.

By the time we reached the park, it was already starting to be evacuated by people. Little kids were starting to go home holding hands with their parents. Lovers began to move side by side with each other. Nothing changed. This is just a usual scenario we always see whenever we come here every Wednesday. It’s like a movie always being played back. We were the only people there at that time. The only difference is the candlelit area nearby the pond where we usually hang – out.

“Looks like we have to move to another place, Nick.” I said. “Think so.”, Nick replied. I started to change direction when Nick grabbed my hand and took me to the candlelit area. “Nick, what do you think are you doing?” I asked. “Hanging out with my best friend.” He replied. “Nick, someone‘s going to use this place and we have no right to interrupt.” I said. “I set this one up so we do have the right” He replied. I didn’t ask more questions. We just sat there in silence until Nick spoke, “Jen, do you really just want me as your best friend?” I didn’t reply. I was taken aback by his question. The next I knew his lips were pressing against mine. I pushed him back and asked me once more, “Do you just love me as your best friend?” “No. I love you more than a best friend, Nick. I don’t want to admit it to you because I don’t want our friendship to be broken” I replied. “Jen, I’ve always loved you more than just a best friend. I tried to love you as my younger sister but it simply won’t just work. I tried to convince myself to stop loving you as my girl. I dated others but every minute I spent with them is a like a waste of time. Now that you know how much I love you, will you be my girl? ” Just merely listening to his words made my heart melt. I did not reply because I know that no words can express how much I feel. I just went near him and hugged him as tight as I could. He then whispered, “I love you”. “Love you, too.” I replied.

Ever since that day, we were always together. We were like magnets, he’s Pole A and I’m Pole B. Every single day when we’re with each other is a day in heaven. Every single day in our relationship went well.

We graduated from college. Nick graduated with a degree in law and I graduated with a degree in medicine. We were both known in our fields that we were awarded as people of the year. Later on, we decided that we have enough to be able to build a family so we had our marriage.

Our marriage then became the most unforgettable event of my life. From the bouquets of flowers to the reception, every thing no matter how small was given importance. We had our honeymoon in Hawaii and we returned a week later. As we arrived home, I was vomiting and my head was aching so much that I think my head is being hammered. The maid was cooking my favorite, lasagna and just stopped when I started yelling at her. “Why were you yelling at her, hon? She’s cooking your favorite food.” Nick said. “I don’t like the smell and besides I’m not hungry.” I replied. Then I heard a boisterous laugh made by Nick. “Why are you laughing? I’m in great pain and you don’t even care?!” I said. “Jen, hon dress up. We’re going to the doctor” He replied. “But I’m a doctor!” I replied. He giggled then laughed boisterously, the laugh that I love before but now is getting pretty annoyed at. “You’re a doctor yet you don’t know that these signs just show that you’re pregnant!” He gave me a pregnancy test and when I took it, indeed I was pregnant. He was jumping up and down shouting that he’s going to be a daddy.

Nine months later, I bore a beautiful baby girl named Jenicka. She is a very charming baby with dimples and cute little fingers. She had his Dad’s hazel – colored eyes and her lips were a red as mine. We all loved her. She has made our marriage even stronger despite of all the odds.

A year later, Jenicka had her first birthday. A lot of preparations were made to make everything just right for our wonderful little angel. There were balloons, clowns and even a chocolate fondue. She even had guests of different ages and once again they were pleased with her spirit.

Everything seemed so perfect that we did not notice Nick missing. “Mommy, where is Daddy?” Nicka asked me. “I don’t know my dear but don’t worry Mommy will look for him.” I replied. “Just continue to enjoy you’re party!”

“Nick! Nick! Where are you?” I shouted. I went inside our room to see him lying on the bed “Are you okay, hon? You look so pale!” I said. “No, I’m okay. Don’t worry my head just aches so much.” I kissed him on the forehead. He was about to rise when I told him not to. “Hon, just sleep and rest, I’ll tell Nicka that you’re fine. I’m the doctor here so you have to follow.” “Okay ma’am.” He chuckled.

The next few days were not coming up very well. Nick had severe headaches but still had to go to work and he was also being so forgetful. Nicka was very moody and she doesn’t cooperate and I was so busy with my responsibilities in the hospital. I don’t know what to do but still I have to be strong for our family.

About a month a later, a very disastrous event occurred that changed our life. Nick had a seizure and the bad thing about it; I was out of the country for a conference. I was worrying so much. Every now and then I would call to check how he and Nicka was doing but unfortunately it was always the maid who answered my phone calls. I returned after 2 weeks and realized that Nick is still in the hospital. “What could be wrong?” I whispered to myself. I phoned home and the maid answered. I learned that Nicka is still sleeping and the maid just told me to go directly to the hospital because of a certain reason.

As I reached the hospital, people’s eyes were on me. I could feel it. I could sense that something is really wrong but what could it be. Then I heard a group of trainees talking. “How could she not know what’s wrong with her husband?”. The other asked. “I thought she was the best.” The other said in reply. I tried not to listen. I tried not to worry. I tried not to pay attention to every whisper or talk I could hear. I tried not to look but the more I see people whisper while I pass the more my heart wants to burst. Could someone just approach me and tell me the truth?!

As I reached my office, my closest colleague, Mike, approached me and told me to follow him. I tried to keep up with him. I tried to follow the speed of his feet but barely could I. Mike had to hold me to make sure I won’t fall when we reached a familiar room. It was the same room I stayed in when I was waiting for the labor of my first baby. “Jenicka.” I murmured to myself. My voice was so low that even Mike didn’t hear me. I have to be strong for Jenicka. The thought came directly into my mind.

As we entered the room, I can see machines and apparatus attached to Nick’s body. It was exactly the same room where I stayed, with the green wallpaper, the air conditioner at the right end, the TV across the bed everything was the same. The only difference, the emotions; during my stay, the room was always full of people giving fruits and flowers and they were all excited to see my baby. However with Nick’s stay, although there are flowers and fruits, the room is so dull. When Nick confesses his love for me, no words can express how happy I am and to describe this room, no words can be used.

“Jen!” Mike whispered loudly.
“Uh. Sorry. What?” I replied
“Just wait for Nick to wake up. He wants to tell you himself.”
“Okay. Thank you”

He nodded in response and left the room. I am all alone not exactly alone but alone because I have no one to turn to. I want to cry but I don’t want Nick to feel bad. I want to scream at the top of my lungs but couldn’t because I don’t want to disturb him. “I’m the worst doctor!” I mumbled. “No, you’re not.” A voice replied. A very familiar voice that I so much missed; a voice of the person I so much love. “’NICK!” I replied. I couldn’t explain how I feel. I moved nearer Nick’s bed and sat beside him carefully.

“Jen”
“Nick”
“Jen I love you and Nicka but please don’t let the child come here.”
“Hon, you know how much I love you and I promise you not to let Nicka worry.”
We sat in silence. I want to know what’s wrong with him but I don’t want to start the topic so I waited for him.

“Jen”
“I have Metastatic brain cancer.”

I did not reply but tears were already starting to drop. He wiped the first drop and kissed my cheek. Then he continued.

“All those symptoms, the headache, seizures, bleeding, nausea, swelling and vomiting, Jen.”
“You were bleeding?”
“Only for the days I’ve been here in the hospital. All the symptoms were present.”
“Nick! I’m so sorry! I told you I’m the worst doctor!”
“No! You’re the best! Jen, the doctors gave me at most 2 months to live. With this, may we have a vacation together with Nicka anywhere? Let’s just spend my two months happily as a family. ”

I was speechless. I just kissed him on the forehead and the next I knew we slept. I was holding his hand just making sure he is safe.

The following day, I was awakened by the sounds of pumping, doctors, machines, and even crying. I woke up and saw that Nick was bleeding. Bleeding so much that, doctors cannot do anything. They were all doing their very best. I was there as well but not as a doctor but as a wife. I was like a statue. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk. All I could was pray. I went outside to see Nicka and my parents and Nick’s parents all comforting me. They wanted to tell me that everything is going to be fine but as a doctor myself, I know, it’s not fine. I know that it is something really serious and if no one can do something about it, DEATH will be the answer.

Then Nick was pronounced DEAD. We went inside, even Nicka, and there we could see Nick so pale and lifeless. The once jolly and gay person, the person whom I entrusted my whole life to, is dead. One of the nurses took a white sheet and started to cover the body of my only love and as he starts to cover his dead body our love’s happy ending also starts to fade; hope also starts to end.

That is my love story. Those were the times when I believed that love always has a happy ending but then I realized that love doesn’t really have a happy ending, like most fairytales have, because love has no ending. As long as love grows swiftly in our hearts even if at the times we struggle the most, love will still have no ending.

“Mommy! Mommy! Are you done talking to Daddy?” Nicka asked.
Another familiar voice; a voice of the daughter of my only love, a voice of why my life should go on.